My lawn mower recently imploded?
April 28, 2010 by bebo
Filed under Boom mower
Simple story actually, i was mowing the lawn and boom my lawn mower’s mass sunk in and then blew out in all directions, spitting shrapnel from my home in Tanzania to New Jersey. Turns out I ran over an eight foot donkey.
What can be done to prevent this?
Don’t allow those donkeys to hang around when you’re mowing the lawn.
This has happened to me on more than one occasion as well. The solution I have come up with is to attach a small baby to the front edge of the mower, you can leave it in a car seat or just tape it directly to the mower deck in front of the engine, the screaming is fairly effective at alerting the donkeys, thus allowing them to get up and out of the way. In case of a stubborn donkey, one that will just lay there reguardless of loud noises I recommend taking Magnum size condoms and filling them with either pea gravel or even large amounts of semen. then take these loaded rubbers and attach them to the blades of an oscillating fan(to be mounted in the same location of the baby). These spinning contraceptives will actually just spank the donkey right before the mower gets to it and cause him to flee.
Don’t drink and drive – anything!!!
Buy a bigger mower, mine turns donkeys and kids into fine mulch. Good for the grass. RScott